Some people have noticed that Chris and I do not show our daughter’s face on any social media. This is a conscious decision and one that we discuss and re-evaluate regularly. This is a choice that is right for us right now. We may change our minds in the future. We may not. And we definitely do not have any ill feelings towards parents who chose to have their children present online. We have always been hesitant about giving reasons for this decision because we don’t want to look like hypocrites if there is a time that we change our minds and choose to show her face online. But that is the great thing about being parents. We are in charge. We are learning and figuring it out as we go along. So, in that spirit, here are some of the reasons why we are not currently showing LC’s face on social media:

Safety: I am a mom. I worry about my kid. I worry about the permanence of the internet. About information that cannot be taken back. It scares me the idea of having some guy that I haven’t talked to since middle school knowing information about my child. I have Instagram friends that I know in a very limited capacity who share information about their child that I feel strange about knowing. These are children that I do not know and I have never met before and yet I could pick them out of a lineup of 100 other children and know their favorite snacks and what they like to watch on TV. Now these parents probably do a better job than I do of filtering out who follows them on social sites. I hope to wait until I know that LC is responsible enough to be smart about the internet before I subject her to it and all the dangers that come with it. Also, I watch way too much Criminal Minds.

Privacy: This is the one that Chris feels very passionately about. Leighton is a baby. But she won’t always be. She will grow up and have feelings and opinions on how she is represented on the internet. She has the right to control what is shared and what is kept private. Right now, she doesn’t have a voice and it is our responsibility as her parents to be that voice for her. She probably won’t want strangers watching a livestream of the first time she uses the big girl potty. She might not want photos documenting her cute little baby butt in the bathtub. She can’t tell us these things. So we have to err on the side of caution.

Mental Heath: I want to show her on social media. I want to so bad. But when I stop to think about my motivation behind why I want to do so, none of them are healthy. I want to show off my cute baby girl. Because, let me tell you, my girl is CUTE. I want other people to wish they had a baby girl that is as cute as my baby girl. I want to brag about her development and show off the ways that she is more advanced than other babies her age. I choose to not show her face in order to keep me from myself. From my natural tendencies for competition. From my secret, dark pleasure in making other’s covet the perfect online life I have created for myself. I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole. When I stop to think of why I want to show Leighton on my personal account, I cannot think of a single reason that would benefit her, only me. That may change in the future, when I am less of a psycho crazy person. But, then again, maybe not. At least I am aware of the crazy I have inside me and am working every day to grow and be better. I have always worked hard to make sure that I am showing my authentic self on social media and if I showed Leighton at the forefront of my social media presence I don’t think that would continue.

All of this being said, we do have a private Instagram account for family and close friends to see pictures and updates on her development. We do this so that those who are close in spirit but physically far can watch her grow up. Even on this private account, however, we choose to be mindful of the fact that we are posting on behalf of someone else. We don’t speak using her voice in the captions and we try to think “would she be embarrassed for her friends to see this picture when she is 13?” so all naked bath time photos are kept off the internet and instead put into family photo albums at home! For now, we can document LC’s life in pictures for her <100 followers knowing she is safe and we are doing what we feel is best for now.