I think I had a very unrealistic, romanticized view of love growing up. And who could blame me? With movies and TV shows full of drama and outside forces trying to tear the two soulmates apart! I thought that I would have that kind of love someday. “You and me against the world”. Now I look at those movies and TV shows and I can see the unhealthy relationships glorified in media (What man thought of the whole “if he’s mean to you he must really love you” thing and how did we all fall for it?) and they look exhausting.

And yet I still find myself buying into the “him and me against the world” mantra.

I know I have fallen victim to saying those exact words to Chris when someone is unkind, when we are facing difficulties, or when I just want to remind him that I have his back. “You and me against the world”.

I think that, whether intentional or not, this implies that, as a couple, we are better than those around us. And it’s easy to fall into the mindset that you have to do what is best for your family even to the detriment of others. That is the normal way of thinking. People will applaud you for prioritizing your family above everything else and for loving your spouse well.

But that is not, however, the Christian way of thinking. Protecting ourselves and each other is not our sole purpose. It is a responsibility that we have as husband and wife, yes, to love and cherish and protect one another, but it is not our purpose. Our purpose is to allow God to use us IN the world. We were given gifts to use, not to guard ourselves against others, but to help and be a light to those around us.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am all for prioritizing your family and your children. But the best thing for your kids is for them to watch you put others first. To watch you sacrifice comforts in order to extend a helping hand to someone in need. To teach them to be kind and humble. It is important for them to know that there is nobody out there better than they are but equally important for them to know that they are not better than anyone else either. To know that every single person on this Earth is someone deserving of love and, more importantly, that they ARE loved by and are being actively pursued by the Creator of all things.

What is best for your spouse is to have a marriage that is centered around Christ, not centered around the other. If I was Chris’s whole world how scary would that be? If I was Chris’s sole priority how much pressure and strain would that put on our marriage? We are made for much bigger things than to just love one another and live happily ever after. We intend on making an impact in our community and in the lives of those we love.

Chris and I are attempting to learn to be better friends, better neighbors, better sons and daughters and brothers and sisters. “Him and me (with God leading the way) FOR the world”. So take this as a formal invitation to call us. About anything. Anytime. Ever. We will be happy to pray for you and to sacrifice for you. Because we love you.

May 7, 2018